The Divorce of the Millennium

How the American States divide themselves

By Victor Adams

If you walk out the front door, you know that something is wrong. There are no more beer summits. Every opposing thought is a threat to democracy. Americans no longer agree to disagree.

A collection of Monty Python cast-offs stormed the Capital building and took selfies. It might have been mildly amusing had it not turned bloody. The idiots were arrested within two hours. A coup d'état? The French would be appalled.

Hollywood East deployed more military hardware in its streets than in Kabul, Afghanistan. Times are tense. There is talk of another civil war. But the civil war centered on ending one of mankind’s worst institutions; slavery. Where do pronouns and micro-aggressions rank in comparison? Not high.

Rather than a bloody civil war, a complicated split is possible. It is unlikely, but there were only two genders back in 2019. Ferris was right, life comes at you pretty fast. If the states were to split, it might go something like this.

State fault lines are more than political. States have to do something for a living. Each states’ major industries, political affiliations, demographics, and geographic complications play a part. For example, New Mexico is a blue state in a sea of red. It is dependent on federal money. How would California benefit from a relationship with New Mexico?

Legally, states can’t secede. But the sanctuary city concept is the blueprint for how a state withdraws. How can the judiciary differentiate between Texas the sanctuary state and Seattle the sanctuary city? By not hearing sanctuary lawsuits, the Roberts Court has punted. The other branches of government would fare no better. The Feds aren’t invading two-dozen states to enforce bathroom gender equity. C’mon, man!

The Fed’s only leverage is to cut off federal funds to half the country. In response, half the country would stop paying federal taxes. Why would that matter?

Because OPEC might notice the accounting irregularity and decide to tie oil to a different currency. The dollar floats on oil. So much so that we call it the Petrodollar. Remove the oil and you just have the dollar. Without that petro, subtract tax revenue from ½ the country. Then add $28 trillion of national debt. Suddenly devaluing the dollar and defaulting on the debt become easy realities.

Because a bureaucracy runs the country, there is no accountability. Ask the Soviet Union.

Seven of the top-10 energy-producing states are deeply red. If a dollar devaluation is on the horizon, they would act to save their economies. Here is how they might do it and what could happen next:

· Twenty-three states cite Article 1, Section 8 of The Constitution claiming that the Fed neglected to spend taxes for the common welfare, failed to establish a uniform immigration process, or conduct any oversight over congressional members.

· Under the 10th Amendment, that powers not delegated to the federal government by the constitution…belong to the states and thus the people, these states reclaim local governing authority and reconstitute as the Central American States (CAS).

· The dollar collapses. A new world reserve currency is selected.

· Underfunded pensions collapse. Over 9 million retirees fall into poverty.

· The CAS adopt the new reserve currency and create a limited federal government.

· The CAS strike down union & wage laws. Out-of-region trucking becomes subject to tariffs. These states restrict immigration from other former-U.S. regions.

· Ports at Jacksonville, New Orleans, and Charleston expand.

· The CAS become a manufacturing hub.

· Wall Street moves to Hong Kong or London. 2 million jobs tied to Wall Street evaporate.

· The Northeastern states struggle under the old top-heavy system. New York’s poverty rate tops 35%. The surrounding area succumbs to excessive crime.

· Massachusetts & Pennsylvania drive the regional economy with manufacturing, port traffic, and energy production.

· The Western American States (WAS) exchange Hawaii for massive Chinese investment.

· Tariffs on Chinese products and WAS food to the other regions drive record profits.

· A WAS democracy, located in Silicon Valley, is abandoned.

· The WAS sponsor no foreign intelligence apparatus.

· The FBI dissolves. Agents emigrate into state agencies as detectives.

Venice provides the historical model for the West Coast’s role. China’s need to reach the population of the CAS creates a new silk road from San Diego to Seattle. The Western states exit the American experiment comfortably and outsource any discomfort to China.

The Northeast keeps the USA brand and government. Thousands emigrate out of the region. The millions of redundant office workers, penniless retirees, and pre-existing poor create a welfare problem the region will never overcome.

The CAS solve their education crisis by employing millions of retirees as part-time teachers. Free-market economics propel the CAS into a middle-class country with a limited welfare component.

Four states remain neutral. Utah uses the situation to expand the state religion beyond 70%. Nevada, ever dependent on tourism, welcomes all sides. Increased tariffs on coal, copper, and cattle exports create a financial windfall for Montana. For similar reasons, and because they are energy independent, Idaho expands and remains neutral.

If financial ties are all that binds us, a regional separation would lessen the financial pain. A split would be nasty. Most of them are. But life for everyday citizens probably wouldn’t change all that much.

Victor Adams is a business owner, financial analyst, and Siberian husky breed snob. He is the author of the satirical novels, The Last One Out & Una Taza de Salt (2022). He lives in Cartagena, Colombia.